business, critic, Internet, Technology & Startups

An uber Lagos experience almost from hell.

I hate weddings.

As a rule I never attend weddings, but this was one that I just had to attend. Yet it seemed that the gods, petrol scarcity and my Uber driver were determined I was not going to break my self-imposed rule.

I made a ride request 45+ minutes ago and my Uber driver was nowhere to be found. I called him repeatedly and he always had a glib excuse why he had not arrived.

I guess when he felt I was bugging him too much, he stopped picking my calls and sent me a text:

Am sorry 4 everything bt I jst couldn’t continue av also wasted a lot of fuel trying to locate u n d last thing i want is more misunderstanding after d stress

Observation: The Uber driver didn’t know his way around, blamed the network for not being able to use Google maps and refused to just ask for directions from people around him.

At this point my blood was boiling because I was already very late. So I cancelled the ride request and made another. The driver fortunately was very close so he appeared in no time, I got into the car and told him my destination. What was his response?

I am very sorry, I cannot go that far. I don’t have any petrol.

Huh??? WTF!!! is this Uber?

At this stage I knew that the gods were really angry with me and definitely did not want me going to some owambe wedding on a hot Saturday afternoon.

I decided to try for the third and last time and I was third time lucky. The Uber ride came on time, the driver was very courteous and the journey was uneventful and I was very pleased.

Due to the African time syndrome, I was not as late as I thought I was going to be.

I still hate weddings though.

Foot notes
1. Uber Lagos drivers should be trained on how to navigate Lagos roads even without Google maps. If they don’t have network on their devices, I see no reason why they can’t ask, old fashion style.

2. Uber should do something about determining accurate ETA of uber rides. Right now you really can’t predict when a requested Uber ride would arrive to pick you up. Its way off the displayed ETA in the app.

3. Uber customer service is one of the best I have come across in this clime. After I left my feedback about the previous failed ride requests, Ebi (she deserves a raise) came to the rescue with swift reparation. The standard should be maintained.

critic, Internet, Life, social media, Uncategorized

Revealed: The Tech backstory behind the Nigerian Immigration Recruitment Fiasco

According to the interior minister Abba Moro, 520,000 candidates participated in the Nigerian immigration service recruitment exercise and each candidate paid #1,000 just to apply.
#1,000 X 520,000 candidates == #520,000,000
Different number of casualties of the botched recruitment exercise are still being bandied around by the press from 10 to 30. No matter the number, they didn’t have to die in the first place.

Questions that need answers
1. Who are the individuals behind Drexel tech global limited? The company that developed the recruitment website for the Nigerian Immigration Service.
2. How true is the rumor making the rounds that the wife of the president of Nigeria’s senate is the owner of Drexel tech global limited?
3. Why was the company website of Drexel global tech limited quickly taken offline?

After doing some digging around on the Internet, here are my findings
1. Although a whois check didn’t reveal much due to fact that registrar obfuscated the details of the registrants of the domain name (, I was able to glean that was registered on 05/01/2011 and would expire on 05/01/2015. The last time it was updated was on the 13/09/2013, before it was quickly taken offline.

2. A quick google search revealed some interesting information about the company, Drexel tech global ltd:
i. The company is registered in the United Kingdom as:
RC: 07674680.
Registered Address: 72 High Street, Haslemere, Surrey, GU27 2LA
Nature of Business:
Other letting and operating of own or leased real estate

ii. The company has 2 directors and they are:
Mahmood Ahmadu
Year of Birth: 1966
Director ID: 916093233.
No 63 Apo Legislative Quarters Zone A Abuja Fct Nigeria


born in 1964
Posttown: SIMSBURY
Postcode: 06070
Country of residence: UNITED KINGDOM

I searched for Mahmood ahmadu on facebook and the only matching result is a staff of INEC Abuja while Theresa Mahoney brought out so many different search results I abandoned that route.

iii. I also noticed that some former staff of Drexel tech global limited are now current staff of I discovered that formerly known as socketworks LTD is a child company of Drexel tech global limited and is owned by Dr Aloy Chife.

Posers, unanswered questions and assumptions.
1. The rumor that Helen Mark (wife of the senate president) is the owner of Drexel global tech limited is rather unfounded and untrue as there is no information to prove it to be true unless there is proof that she and Dr Aloy Chife are business partners. I stand to be corrected.
2. How does a company (i.e. Drexel) registered in the United Kingdom with no revenue and whose business description is REAL ESTATE get awarded such a massive IT government contract?
3. Does it make logical sense that a company (Drexel) established in 2011 is the parent company of socketworks established in 2003?
4. Is Drexel tech global limited a “briefcase company” established to do some shady underhand deals that an established and well known IT firm like socketworks would not want to stain itself with?
5. Why was the corporate website of Drexel tech global limited taken off line? Was it because it had served its purpose or was it to hide information? GOTO [1]

Questions demanding answers.
May the souls of those who lost their lives rest in peace.

March 2014.

critic, funding, hacking, Life, Technology & Startups

Has the bubble burst? developed a leak? or was there even a bubble at all?

“Today, across my network of companies, I directly and indirectly employ around 200 people. 90% under 27. 150 or so in Lagos but hope by 2015 that number reaches at LEAST 1,000.”
May 7, 2013.

“Today I had to fire retire 13 people.”
October 13, 2013.

What happened in the time between the 2 posts?

critic, hacking, Life, Technology & Startups

Did Blackberry just commit Hara-kiri?

noun: hara-kiri, noun:harakiri
1. Ritual suicide by disembowelment with a sword, formerly practised in Japan by samurai as an honourable alternative to disgrace or execution.

I strongly feel Blackberry committed hara-kiri by releasing BBM as a free app on both iOS and Google Play app stores. Correct me if I am wrong but the reason why 99.9% of people got a Blackberry phone was because of BBM [1] while the remaining 0.01% are the weirdo’s who got it for push email Blackberry phones are whack, battery life atrocious, their app store is filled with crappy applications.
Why did Blackberry give away their crown jewel (i.e. BBM)? to remain relevant in the mobile space? too late. Back in 2009, it would have been a stroke of genius.
Now that BBM is available for both iOS and Android, would any sane person actually go to a store to pick up a Blackberry phone? NO!!!
If the release of the iPhone dug the grave site for Blackberry and Android put her in a coffin, then the release of BBM just said the final rites and poured sand over the coffin in the grave.
Even if Blackberry wants to transition into a SAAS company and somehow charge for BBM via TELCO’s, would anyone actually pay to use BBM when whatsapp and its ilk are free?

1. The sole reason for my short lived romance with a Blackberry phone was basically because of BBM. I was tired of people asking me for my PIN. (covers face in shame).

critic, Life, Uncategorized

Sorry to say this… but your work is shit!!!

I basically told someone this, not in those exact words but somewhat similar.

How do you tell someone who takes an obscene pride in his creative work that it is basically bullshit without causing offense?

In that “once in a blue moon” moment I remember facebook and actually visit it, I saw a post by a “facebook friend” touting some websites he had created and also advertising his services to prospective clients. I was curious and clicked the links. The first thought that crossed my mind was …. “WTF is this?” This guy actually created a pre 1995 website for a Nigerian polytechnic and another for a socio-cultural organization. He had blinking text, background sound, he used flash and committed other the sins a modern website designer should not. I am no web designer but I was so incensed (actually taking panadol for someone else’s headache who got paid) that I just had to say something, my big mouth could not stay quiet. I tried to be nice, tried to be diplomatic, tried not to be offensive, read some books on emotional intelligence and after much brain racking and prayers, I finally settled on this comment:
Hello [—name retracted—]
Good work you have here {rolling eyes}, I am very impressed {now red in the face} with this. I never knew you were into web programming and design. {Now my goofing begins} Actually, you can try visiting for some very affordable {I didnt indirectly say he was an “el-cheapo”, honestly} and highly professional templates {subconciously saying his work wasnt professional, eh?} you could use instead of this. Anyway take care and keep up the good work.

You can guess his response to me. It was not pretty.

P.S: He deleted my comment on his facebook post. I still think the websites are shit though and wonder how anyone could have paid for it. I should have just figured out a nicer way to say it. Sorry, I am a geek, dont blame me.

critic, Life, Uncategorized

How in the hell…

Could a man enjoy being awakened at 5am by an alarm, leap out of bed, say a “let my enemies die” prayer if so religiously inclined, shit, piss, brush teeth, bath, comb hair, dress, fight traffic with insane, high on drugs danfo drivers, police men, LASTMA officials with their spiked iron rods hiding in odd bends and corners ready to jump into his car, to get to a place where essentially he makes lots of money for someone else and be asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?
-An adaptation of Charles Bukowski, Factotum, 1975.

critic, hacking, programming, Technology & Startups

You dont know anything


Look at the timestamp of the image above. I tweeted it in 2010 after reading glowing reviews of the bufferapp on Hackernews, I just couldn’t get why someone would pay just to schedule posts on twitter (they only supported twitter back then). Joel responded to my tweet with optimism about the app. 3 years on, look at the tweet below:


This goes to show that we don’t really know sh*t about anything. If you have an idea you think would work, run with it first. Let your target audience accept or reject it and don’t place the power of life and death in the crucible of some so-called expert who probably doesn’t know sh*t about anything,